For the first time in a long time I did not dread my birthday. Yes that seems ridiculous for a still very young 28 year old, but it is the way I’m wired. My brain tends to go forward 10, 20, 40, 80 years and with each birthday it reminds me of the eventual situations and life bumps I will undoubtedly have to face like any other person. It takes a lot of trusting in God and smacking myself in the face to stay in and enjoy the moment. Very surprising to me, this past birthday I did not care one bit. I love where I am, and it has a lot to do with my growing family. The conversation I had with my year and a half old daughter is a perfect example.
My daughter is really starting to show affection, and will come randomly over to me, jump in my lap, give me a huge hug, and exclaim “My DADA!” The absolute best is when she then tries to have a conversation with me. It is getting a little easier as her secret code transforms into the english language. On this particular day, I had just gotten off the phone with my dad, or Papa as my daughter calls him. As I put the phone down, my daughter walked over to me, gave me a hug, and then looked me squarely in the eye and the following conversation happened:
Daughter: Papa?
Me: Yes that was Papa
Daughter: Papa?
Me: Yes that was Papa and he was at home.
Daughter: Nonna? (That is my mom)
Me: Nonna is at work
Daughter: Ella? (What she calls my sister)
Me: Ella is with Kaylen (her friend)
Daughter: Ella?
Me: She is with Kaylen
Daughter: Ella? Ella?!
Me: She is with Kaylen, honey, you know Kaylen
Daughter just stares at me...
Me: They went to the beach or something, I’m not sure
Daughter: Papa?
Me: He’s at home
Daughter: Papa?
Me: He is at home, we will see him later
Daughter: Papa?
Me: Yes, we will see him later
Daughter: Yeah! Nonna?
Me: She is at work, I’m not sure if we will see her today
Daughter: Nonna?
Me: Work
Daughter: Ella?
Me: With Kaylen
Daughter: Papa?
Me: At home.......
Daughter: Nonna?
Me: Really? She is still at work...
She then grabs the phone I had placed on the couch
Daughter: Nonna?
Me: We can’t call Nonna right now, she is working.
Daughter: Papa?
Me: I just hung up with Papa, he is coming over here in a little bit
Daughter: Ella?
Me: Honey, give me the phone, go play.
Daughter: Papa?
Me: Where is Alf’s bone? You should find it
She then goes off looking for our dog’s bone to give it to him. This simple little conversation absolutely blew my mind. It confirms how much is going on in her little head, and the connections she makes with people. She knew that if I was talking with my dad then she could ask about my mom and sister as well. I could tell she wanted to ask about my brother as well, but she hasn’t figured out the “J” sound yet for Joseph. It is conversations like this that keep me in the moment. Each new conversation is a mini adventure. Between my amazing wife and daughter I get to have an adventure everyday.
Showing posts with label parent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parent. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Dad And The Mall
The mall is a dark place of evil. Yes it is. I have never liked going to that dark place. It makes me shiver every time. The mall is a place where companies go and get mad that they have to pay such high rent, and then take it out on their customers with overpriced clothes, employees that don’t want to be there, and fattening food places all over the place. They want you to stuff your face with Auntie Anne pretzels, and Mrs. Fields (or Ms? not sure if she is married) Cookies so that hopefully you won’t notice you are paying $20 for a shirt or $80 for a pair of already ripped jeans! Back in my day (I realize I technically am not that old) jeans that were torn were given to Dad to be used during oil changes on the family car. If you can get past all the tempting food, and avoid the high priced stuff, there can be deals to be found in certain stores. The only problem with that is dealing with the 48,087 people who all think they know which said of the mall they should walk on. Listen, it is just like driving. DRIVE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE ROAD! If 90% of the 48,086 (yes that number is one off because someone went insane and ran out of the mall. Perhaps that person actually went “sane” - boggles your mind huh?) are walking in one direction, why does there have to be the “cool” couple walking against the crowd? Seriously. And if your phone rings, and you stop so suddenly that I or anyone else of the 48,085 (yep we lost another one) people bump into you... it is your fault. Period. So don’t give a dirty look or make improper gestures. Apologize so everyone can move on with their lives.
If you have not figured it out yet, I really dislike the mall experience. When my family needs to go to the mall because of a great deal or for a quick meal we try to go during the day on my day off while most people are either at work, or at school. Even then, most of the subtle annoyances are only slightly less irritable. Luckily, my daughter now serves as some amazing entertainment. My wife wanted to go to this one particular mall we had not been to in a long time. It is quite a ride, and my sister came along as well. We hadn’t been out of the house in a while so I decided to go ahead and go. I’m glad I did. My daughter is now at the point that she loves to do goofy things and get us laughing.
On this particular trip, my wife and I were introduced by my sister to the store H&M. We walked in and my daughter was in one of those small “umbrella” strollers. Immediately we realized all the girl and baby stuff was on the second floor, and all they had was stairs. My wife and sister started looking for an elevator, and I just looked at my daughter, she looked at me, and I picked up the entire stroller and carried her up the stairs. As soon as we hit the top floor she decided she did not like that and wanted out! So she and I went shopping. I love how she knows exactly what she wants. We walked through and I pointed out various shirts and shorts, and one after another she either shook her head no or said, “nah.” I couldn’t believe that she didn’t like one thing! That is, until we came across some bracelets. As soon as I held them up she pulled her hands together, raised her shoulders, and yelled out, “YAH!” We had found a winner. The joy of finding bracelets did not last long though. She wanted to explore, and thus we explored. As we started making our way throughout the mall, I could only imagine how her brain is processing all the information. Her favorite spot was by the water fountains. In just a few minutes, she was best friends with the various water fountains spread throughout the mall and on the way out had to say goodbye to every single one.
My favorite part of the entire trip was when she randomly started falling down, and then walking like the hunchback of Notre Dame just to get a laugh out of my wife and I. I still can’t believe anyone who thinks that these little ones don’t know what they are doing. At around a year and a half, my daughter is showing my wife and I how much she realizes what is going on. It amazes me! Even in one of the darkest place on earth, the mall, she is able to light up the trip with her exploratory mind! A day I assumed to be stressful was nothing of the sort, not like trying to dodge laser beams!
In fact, it was such a fun day I almost didn’t notice the person I nearly had a full out collision with because they nonchalantly walked in front of us, and randomly stopped in the middle of the fifteen foot mostly empty walkway. Almost.
If you have not figured it out yet, I really dislike the mall experience. When my family needs to go to the mall because of a great deal or for a quick meal we try to go during the day on my day off while most people are either at work, or at school. Even then, most of the subtle annoyances are only slightly less irritable. Luckily, my daughter now serves as some amazing entertainment. My wife wanted to go to this one particular mall we had not been to in a long time. It is quite a ride, and my sister came along as well. We hadn’t been out of the house in a while so I decided to go ahead and go. I’m glad I did. My daughter is now at the point that she loves to do goofy things and get us laughing.
On this particular trip, my wife and I were introduced by my sister to the store H&M. We walked in and my daughter was in one of those small “umbrella” strollers. Immediately we realized all the girl and baby stuff was on the second floor, and all they had was stairs. My wife and sister started looking for an elevator, and I just looked at my daughter, she looked at me, and I picked up the entire stroller and carried her up the stairs. As soon as we hit the top floor she decided she did not like that and wanted out! So she and I went shopping. I love how she knows exactly what she wants. We walked through and I pointed out various shirts and shorts, and one after another she either shook her head no or said, “nah.” I couldn’t believe that she didn’t like one thing! That is, until we came across some bracelets. As soon as I held them up she pulled her hands together, raised her shoulders, and yelled out, “YAH!” We had found a winner. The joy of finding bracelets did not last long though. She wanted to explore, and thus we explored. As we started making our way throughout the mall, I could only imagine how her brain is processing all the information. Her favorite spot was by the water fountains. In just a few minutes, she was best friends with the various water fountains spread throughout the mall and on the way out had to say goodbye to every single one.
My favorite part of the entire trip was when she randomly started falling down, and then walking like the hunchback of Notre Dame just to get a laugh out of my wife and I. I still can’t believe anyone who thinks that these little ones don’t know what they are doing. At around a year and a half, my daughter is showing my wife and I how much she realizes what is going on. It amazes me! Even in one of the darkest place on earth, the mall, she is able to light up the trip with her exploratory mind! A day I assumed to be stressful was nothing of the sort, not like trying to dodge laser beams!
In fact, it was such a fun day I almost didn’t notice the person I nearly had a full out collision with because they nonchalantly walked in front of us, and randomly stopped in the middle of the fifteen foot mostly empty walkway. Almost.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Toy Thursday - The Coupe
Today is Thursday and that means a new toy!
Toy Thursday is all about a toy or piece of equipment my wife and I have found useful. Again, I can't guarantee your results will be exactly the same, I'm just throwing out an opinion and what has worked for us and others we know.
One of my favorite toys when I was a kid was my very first car. No, not the real kind of car, the Little Tikes car. You know the red one that smiled at you? I'm not sure how that thing was always smiling, especially being driven and pushed into so many walls, hills, and free falls. Although the design has changed some, Little Tikes still makes those cars, and my daughter is in love with hers. Her grandparents got her one for Christmas, and she practically lived in it for a month. The company makes a generic one, and one for a little princess:
So if you are interested, check them out here:
Little Tikes Princess Cozy Coupe - 30th Anniversary
Little Tikes Cozy Coupe 30th Anniversary Car
and be on the look out for Tuesdays adventure!
Toy Thursday is all about a toy or piece of equipment my wife and I have found useful. Again, I can't guarantee your results will be exactly the same, I'm just throwing out an opinion and what has worked for us and others we know.
One of my favorite toys when I was a kid was my very first car. No, not the real kind of car, the Little Tikes car. You know the red one that smiled at you? I'm not sure how that thing was always smiling, especially being driven and pushed into so many walls, hills, and free falls. Although the design has changed some, Little Tikes still makes those cars, and my daughter is in love with hers. Her grandparents got her one for Christmas, and she practically lived in it for a month. The company makes a generic one, and one for a little princess:
So if you are interested, check them out here:
Little Tikes Princess Cozy Coupe - 30th Anniversary
Little Tikes Cozy Coupe 30th Anniversary Car
and be on the look out for Tuesdays adventure!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Dad And The Binkie
Well, it happened. I never thought it would happen so soon though. I mean, my daughter was only around the thirteen month mark, but it happened. I knew the day would come, but I thought it would come when she was a teenager, or at the very least eight or nine years old. This dire situation that needed resolving was a simple one. I, along with my wife, disapproved of one of our daughters friends. Yes, it happened. And so early! Of course this friend wasn’t an actual person which made the solution that much more simple. No her friend was not made from flesh and blood, but instead of plastic and rubber. Her friend was the binkie. At first, the binkie put on the smooth talk, and made us all love it, but then the binkie’s true self started to appear. The truth always comes out, as does a person’s true nature. The binkie started influencing my daughter in bad ways, by always wanting to be around. The friendship had to end!
In all seriousness though, we probably waited a little too long to start the process of getting rid of the binkie. The binkie was not only my daughter’s friend, but our friend as well. It is a simple equation really:
Binkie = Daughter Sleep = Parents Get Break
But all good things come to an end. We weren’t scared of the process of removing the binkie and thought our daughter could stop whenever. This is her nature you see. Baby food only lasted a month, and barely that. Once she tasted solid food that didn’t taste like cardboard, she quite baby food cold turkey. She just refused to eat it. Same thing happened with nursing. My wife and I had planned for our daughter to be nursed up until the year mark. We had read about all the ridiculous health benefits nursing had, especially in that first year. Then she would be slowly weened off the nursing over a month or two. Well, on her birthday she had some regular milk in a sippy cup. She looked at me, then at my wife, as if to say, “You mean I could have been drinking from this cup the whole time?!?” She never wanted to nurse again. Ever. My wife tried that night, and our daughter just pushed her away and wanted the cup. So after all this we just assumed the binkie would be the same way.
We. Were. Wrong.
We started noticing she was asking for the binkie more and more. This was not normal. She normally only wanted the binkie when she was taking a nap or going to sleep. She started wanting it randomly through out the day. Then on a Friday we decided it was time. We had a plan to only let her have the binkie at night, when she was going to sleep. Why we started this on a Friday is beyond me. If you didn’t know, my wife and I are Children’s pastors and have services on Saturday night and Sunday morning, and we decided to take away the thing that makes our daughter go to bed on a Friday. Friday, the day before our two busiest days of the week. Life is adventure though right? So nap time came around on this Friday, and our daughter could not understand why we were withholding her binkie. She kept tapping her mouth as if to nicely point out we had forgotten something. This polite tapping transitioned into a screaming strike. A screaming strike is like a hunger strike, but instead of not eating, she screamed to try and break our spirits. This of course only made me stubborn. I quickly realized the weening off of the binkie was not going to work. It had to be all or nothing. So I walked into the room and gathered up all the binkies we had in the house and hid them. They were gone. I kicked that friend to the curb, and my wife and gave up sleep for the next three days. Our beautiful little girl who would fall asleep quickly now took over an hour. This didn’t last long though. It passed, and the three of us are better for it. Although, we did have to take away every version of the binkie, including the one that is sewn onto the baby dolls around the house.
The binkie can be your best friend and worst enemy, and there is only one way to end this adventure. I leave you with the great wisdom of Elmo:
In all seriousness though, we probably waited a little too long to start the process of getting rid of the binkie. The binkie was not only my daughter’s friend, but our friend as well. It is a simple equation really:
Binkie = Daughter Sleep = Parents Get Break
But all good things come to an end. We weren’t scared of the process of removing the binkie and thought our daughter could stop whenever. This is her nature you see. Baby food only lasted a month, and barely that. Once she tasted solid food that didn’t taste like cardboard, she quite baby food cold turkey. She just refused to eat it. Same thing happened with nursing. My wife and I had planned for our daughter to be nursed up until the year mark. We had read about all the ridiculous health benefits nursing had, especially in that first year. Then she would be slowly weened off the nursing over a month or two. Well, on her birthday she had some regular milk in a sippy cup. She looked at me, then at my wife, as if to say, “You mean I could have been drinking from this cup the whole time?!?” She never wanted to nurse again. Ever. My wife tried that night, and our daughter just pushed her away and wanted the cup. So after all this we just assumed the binkie would be the same way.
We. Were. Wrong.
We started noticing she was asking for the binkie more and more. This was not normal. She normally only wanted the binkie when she was taking a nap or going to sleep. She started wanting it randomly through out the day. Then on a Friday we decided it was time. We had a plan to only let her have the binkie at night, when she was going to sleep. Why we started this on a Friday is beyond me. If you didn’t know, my wife and I are Children’s pastors and have services on Saturday night and Sunday morning, and we decided to take away the thing that makes our daughter go to bed on a Friday. Friday, the day before our two busiest days of the week. Life is adventure though right? So nap time came around on this Friday, and our daughter could not understand why we were withholding her binkie. She kept tapping her mouth as if to nicely point out we had forgotten something. This polite tapping transitioned into a screaming strike. A screaming strike is like a hunger strike, but instead of not eating, she screamed to try and break our spirits. This of course only made me stubborn. I quickly realized the weening off of the binkie was not going to work. It had to be all or nothing. So I walked into the room and gathered up all the binkies we had in the house and hid them. They were gone. I kicked that friend to the curb, and my wife and gave up sleep for the next three days. Our beautiful little girl who would fall asleep quickly now took over an hour. This didn’t last long though. It passed, and the three of us are better for it. Although, we did have to take away every version of the binkie, including the one that is sewn onto the baby dolls around the house.
The binkie can be your best friend and worst enemy, and there is only one way to end this adventure. I leave you with the great wisdom of Elmo:
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Dad And Naptime
Fear is something living inside everyone. You may be afraid of something simple like the dark or something crazy like a green polka dot elephant. Some may be afraid of being alone, or standing on a tall building. There are fears of spiders, ants, buffalos, and armadillos. Some people say they aren’t afraid of anything. Well those people are afraid of admitting that something makes them hesitate. Nothing in life is certain, but one thing you can count on is fear will impact your life at one point. It is just a fact of life. For kids, one of the earliest fears they have is abandonment. It is why they cry when being dropped off at school, or run away from nursery workers at church. They are afraid they are going to be there forever. That fear can come and go, and is brought on by a variety of events.
For Kaylee, she started randomly experiencing this fear around nap time just around the fifteen month mark. My wife and I tried to figure it out, and we are guessing this was brought on by the week before. That week, Kaylee had fallen asleep a few times at my parent’s house just before Kristin and I had run some errands and a second time we had gone out for our anniversary. She did not really show any signs of worry. In fact, when she is with her grandparents she outwardly appears like she could care less if we are there. With good reason too, at my parents’ house she has all sorts of treats she normally doesn’t have like ice cream and cookies. So it was strange that this particular week she was glued to Kristin and myself. She did not want to take a nap. This is somewhat normal for a kid her age, but the way she went about protesting about it was different.
Every time Kristin had her a sleep, or so she thought, and tried to put her in her crib, Kaylee would jump up and start crying. She sensed the mattress or something, and would not let herself go into a deep sleep. Finally, after almost an hour I went into the room to give Kristin a break. I sat down in the rocking chair with Kaylee and got her sleeping. So I slowly stood up, determined to get her into that crib. You see, I have a full proof maneuver to get her into the crib that I use every time she falls asleep in the car and I transfer her from the car to the house. The maneuver is simple. I rock her all the way down, like a pendulum, until her little head and back are touching the mattress. It works 100% of the time. I’m awesome at this dad stuff. Well, I was at least. This day the pendulum maneuver (I am currently getting that move trademarked) failed. As soon as I pulled her away from my chest, her arm shot out and latched onto my armpit like a monkey who just dropped his banana. Her eyes opened for a full two seconds and shot a gaze into my very soul as if to say, “DON’T YOU DARE EVEN THINK ABOUT LEAVING ME IN THIS ROOM BY MYSELF, THIS IS YOUR FIRST WARNING!” I got a little scared. So I rocked her a little while longer and watched the clock. I would give her a full three minutes from the time her breathing went into that heavy sleep breathing that babies do and then once again try “The Pendulum Maneuver” (its officially mine, don’t even think about stealing it). Once again the arm grip of death latched onto the backside of my armpit and her eyes pierced the innards of my soul shouting, “THIS IS YOUR SECOND WARNING FATHER!” That was it. The Pendulum Maneuver had failed, and all hope was lost. Any alone time for Mommy and Daddy were gone now. No, I couldn’t’ give up and surrender to this baby. I would defeat her! I just had to make an adjustment to The Pendulum Maneuver. The part that was waking her up was the separating her from my chest, so I simply didn’t do that! I held her tight, and slowly crawled into the crib with her. Then i slowly laid her onto the mattress, rocking her the whole time. She did wake up for a second, but saw me there in the crib with her and went right back to sleep. Aha! Who outsmarted who now!
Well, I guess, she still is winning at this point since I find myself in this crib, on my side facing her, with her right hand under my neck, while she is asleep staring at the ceiling. I was determined to prevail. She would take a nap, and know that Mommy and Daddy were in the living room right outside her door. So I slowly started to get out of the crib, when the scariest thing in the world happened. She sensed the movement on the mattress and her eyes flung open. I tried to lay back down, but it was to late. In one motion she turned on her side and her left hand grappled me around the neck while her right hand, that was already under my neck, latched on completely. She now had me in a headlock, and stared at me with her eyes wide open and communicated to me, “THIS IS YOUR THIRD AND FINAL WARNING FATHER!” She then closed her eyes and went back to sleep. At this point, I was ready to give up. I could just take a nap with her, I was getting tired after this whole ordeal anyway. I was pretty much scared to death as to what would happen after this third and final warning. Could I really just give up though? Of course not! I had gotten this far. I realized what was setting off her highly sensitive motion detectors was the movement of the crib mattress. At this realization, I slowly just grabbed the four sides of the crib and pulled myself straight up and out, instead of rolling to the end of the mattress. I bet I looked like a ninja. A really cool ninja.
This worked! I left her room quickly and quietly, some would say ninja-like, with my arms raised. Kristin and I would get some quiet time after all. We were so excited! I told Kristin of my adventure, and of my relief that I did not find out what happened after my third and final warning.
It was then time to enjoy our quiet time... all 27 minutes of it.
At least I got a good story and Kaylee dropped the whole super attached thing after this. Technically, it happened again the next day while I was at work, when I received a call from Kristin. She had said she finally got her to fall asleep for a nap, but she had to get in the crib with her! I immediately exclaimed, “what have we started?!” Luckily, Kaylee was back to her normal self the next day. :)
If you have a great nap time story, or any other improvements on “The Pendulum Maneuver” (movie rights pending) leave it in the comments!
For Kaylee, she started randomly experiencing this fear around nap time just around the fifteen month mark. My wife and I tried to figure it out, and we are guessing this was brought on by the week before. That week, Kaylee had fallen asleep a few times at my parent’s house just before Kristin and I had run some errands and a second time we had gone out for our anniversary. She did not really show any signs of worry. In fact, when she is with her grandparents she outwardly appears like she could care less if we are there. With good reason too, at my parents’ house she has all sorts of treats she normally doesn’t have like ice cream and cookies. So it was strange that this particular week she was glued to Kristin and myself. She did not want to take a nap. This is somewhat normal for a kid her age, but the way she went about protesting about it was different.
Every time Kristin had her a sleep, or so she thought, and tried to put her in her crib, Kaylee would jump up and start crying. She sensed the mattress or something, and would not let herself go into a deep sleep. Finally, after almost an hour I went into the room to give Kristin a break. I sat down in the rocking chair with Kaylee and got her sleeping. So I slowly stood up, determined to get her into that crib. You see, I have a full proof maneuver to get her into the crib that I use every time she falls asleep in the car and I transfer her from the car to the house. The maneuver is simple. I rock her all the way down, like a pendulum, until her little head and back are touching the mattress. It works 100% of the time. I’m awesome at this dad stuff. Well, I was at least. This day the pendulum maneuver (I am currently getting that move trademarked) failed. As soon as I pulled her away from my chest, her arm shot out and latched onto my armpit like a monkey who just dropped his banana. Her eyes opened for a full two seconds and shot a gaze into my very soul as if to say, “DON’T YOU DARE EVEN THINK ABOUT LEAVING ME IN THIS ROOM BY MYSELF, THIS IS YOUR FIRST WARNING!” I got a little scared. So I rocked her a little while longer and watched the clock. I would give her a full three minutes from the time her breathing went into that heavy sleep breathing that babies do and then once again try “The Pendulum Maneuver” (its officially mine, don’t even think about stealing it). Once again the arm grip of death latched onto the backside of my armpit and her eyes pierced the innards of my soul shouting, “THIS IS YOUR SECOND WARNING FATHER!” That was it. The Pendulum Maneuver had failed, and all hope was lost. Any alone time for Mommy and Daddy were gone now. No, I couldn’t’ give up and surrender to this baby. I would defeat her! I just had to make an adjustment to The Pendulum Maneuver. The part that was waking her up was the separating her from my chest, so I simply didn’t do that! I held her tight, and slowly crawled into the crib with her. Then i slowly laid her onto the mattress, rocking her the whole time. She did wake up for a second, but saw me there in the crib with her and went right back to sleep. Aha! Who outsmarted who now!
Well, I guess, she still is winning at this point since I find myself in this crib, on my side facing her, with her right hand under my neck, while she is asleep staring at the ceiling. I was determined to prevail. She would take a nap, and know that Mommy and Daddy were in the living room right outside her door. So I slowly started to get out of the crib, when the scariest thing in the world happened. She sensed the movement on the mattress and her eyes flung open. I tried to lay back down, but it was to late. In one motion she turned on her side and her left hand grappled me around the neck while her right hand, that was already under my neck, latched on completely. She now had me in a headlock, and stared at me with her eyes wide open and communicated to me, “THIS IS YOUR THIRD AND FINAL WARNING FATHER!” She then closed her eyes and went back to sleep. At this point, I was ready to give up. I could just take a nap with her, I was getting tired after this whole ordeal anyway. I was pretty much scared to death as to what would happen after this third and final warning. Could I really just give up though? Of course not! I had gotten this far. I realized what was setting off her highly sensitive motion detectors was the movement of the crib mattress. At this realization, I slowly just grabbed the four sides of the crib and pulled myself straight up and out, instead of rolling to the end of the mattress. I bet I looked like a ninja. A really cool ninja.
This worked! I left her room quickly and quietly, some would say ninja-like, with my arms raised. Kristin and I would get some quiet time after all. We were so excited! I told Kristin of my adventure, and of my relief that I did not find out what happened after my third and final warning.
It was then time to enjoy our quiet time... all 27 minutes of it.
At least I got a good story and Kaylee dropped the whole super attached thing after this. Technically, it happened again the next day while I was at work, when I received a call from Kristin. She had said she finally got her to fall asleep for a nap, but she had to get in the crib with her! I immediately exclaimed, “what have we started?!” Luckily, Kaylee was back to her normal self the next day. :)
If you have a great nap time story, or any other improvements on “The Pendulum Maneuver” (movie rights pending) leave it in the comments!
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Dad And The Secret Code
I have to admit, I would love to be a spy. I think I would be awesome at it. I have seen and studied every Burn Notice episode on USA. I have also seen every Mission Impossible and Borne movie, so I’m basically already trained in the important stuff like hand to hand combat and how to lose a tail. I think that is how you spell tail. You understand I mean someone who is following me when I say tail right? I don’t actually have a tail, although that would be pretty cool. Imagine the balance I would have! Anyways, back to the spy thing. I thought I knew all that I would have to know about the trade until my daughter, Kaylee, came along. Thanks to her, I now have over 15 months of secret code breaking experience along with multiple months of non verbal cues training. That’s right, I can now tell what someone wants even though they don’t say a thing! Well maybe this won’t work on everyone, but it works on Kaylee!
Most people don’t give kids enough credit. They definitely know what they want in their mind from a very early age. When I say “early” age, I mean as soon as they pop out of mommy, and perhaps even when they are in the womb. I know this because you can see a baby getting frustrated when you can’t figure out what they want. In the first few months it is pretty easy because there are only three things in their world: Eat, Sleep, Poop. So you just go through that cycle and hope you hit the mark. There is also only one sound they make at this point. That sound is crying. As they get older their wants and needs grow as does their frustration when you can’t figure out what they are saying. It’s like a volcano getting ready to explode. I personally love the “babbling” that starts to happen, and the language that each child starts to develop that is unique to them. I feel like I’m a spy with my daughter all the time. She will say something to my wife or myself, and no one will have a clue as to what she is saying except us.
Now this secret code language took some practice to master, and still my wife and I have not perfected it. Kaylee will walk up to me and say something like “Ah da da oh wa wa.” And then I just stare at her. She then will say it again, but even louder, “Ah da da oh wa wa!” I immediately know that this means now, “Father, would you please as to be so kind as to hand me my cup that is filled with wonderful h2o so that I could quench my thirst?” The first time she said this though, the next 10 minutes was a game of walk around the entire house as Kaylee points to 1,000 different objects randomly shaking her head “no.” The secret code is not only words though. There are many non verbal cues. The best example of this was on a car ride the other day. I was sitting in the back playing with her while my wife was driving, and Kaylee looked at me. I knew something was coming, she had that look in her eyes. She said, “da da,” put her right arm above her head with her fingers stretched out, made the sound “bbbbbbbbbbrrr,” then shook her head and body. Go ahead, guess what that means, I will give you a second.
It meant she wanted me to take out my iPad and open up the app that has the dancing elephant on it. She wanted to dance to the music it played. Twelve months ago she was only asking to be fed or a diaper to be changed. Now she is wanting a dancing elephant to play music so she can get her groove on. The one amazing thing about trying to decipher the secret code is when we do figure it out, Kaylee claps her hands and yells, “YAH!” I know this secret language is not going to last long as she continues to grow and is able to form the english language all the way, but I’m going to try and enjoy every second of this game we play on a consistent basis. I know my skill level is growing when the amount of YAHs outnumber the no head shakes I get.
So thank you, Kaylee, for better preparing me for my future job as a spy!
Have you ever had to figure out the secret code of a child? If so, comment below!
Most people don’t give kids enough credit. They definitely know what they want in their mind from a very early age. When I say “early” age, I mean as soon as they pop out of mommy, and perhaps even when they are in the womb. I know this because you can see a baby getting frustrated when you can’t figure out what they want. In the first few months it is pretty easy because there are only three things in their world: Eat, Sleep, Poop. So you just go through that cycle and hope you hit the mark. There is also only one sound they make at this point. That sound is crying. As they get older their wants and needs grow as does their frustration when you can’t figure out what they are saying. It’s like a volcano getting ready to explode. I personally love the “babbling” that starts to happen, and the language that each child starts to develop that is unique to them. I feel like I’m a spy with my daughter all the time. She will say something to my wife or myself, and no one will have a clue as to what she is saying except us.
Now this secret code language took some practice to master, and still my wife and I have not perfected it. Kaylee will walk up to me and say something like “Ah da da oh wa wa.” And then I just stare at her. She then will say it again, but even louder, “Ah da da oh wa wa!” I immediately know that this means now, “Father, would you please as to be so kind as to hand me my cup that is filled with wonderful h2o so that I could quench my thirst?” The first time she said this though, the next 10 minutes was a game of walk around the entire house as Kaylee points to 1,000 different objects randomly shaking her head “no.” The secret code is not only words though. There are many non verbal cues. The best example of this was on a car ride the other day. I was sitting in the back playing with her while my wife was driving, and Kaylee looked at me. I knew something was coming, she had that look in her eyes. She said, “da da,” put her right arm above her head with her fingers stretched out, made the sound “bbbbbbbbbbrrr,” then shook her head and body. Go ahead, guess what that means, I will give you a second.
It meant she wanted me to take out my iPad and open up the app that has the dancing elephant on it. She wanted to dance to the music it played. Twelve months ago she was only asking to be fed or a diaper to be changed. Now she is wanting a dancing elephant to play music so she can get her groove on. The one amazing thing about trying to decipher the secret code is when we do figure it out, Kaylee claps her hands and yells, “YAH!” I know this secret language is not going to last long as she continues to grow and is able to form the english language all the way, but I’m going to try and enjoy every second of this game we play on a consistent basis. I know my skill level is growing when the amount of YAHs outnumber the no head shakes I get.
So thank you, Kaylee, for better preparing me for my future job as a spy!
Have you ever had to figure out the secret code of a child? If so, comment below!
Friday, April 20, 2012
Update: First Boo Boo
So very quickly after my wife read the first boo boo post she reminded me of another time our daughter had gotten hurt. Officially, I can not count the time she is recalling as a boo boo. It clearly falls under the bumps and bruises category I had earlier explained. This was the first time she did get hurt enough to cry though. She was at the stage of walking while holding our fingers. This is an exercise of how much can mommy and daddy’s back take until the pain is so great we collapse. It was fun to see her trying to figure out the walking thing though. One night at my parents’ house, I was walking around with her and she was getting pretty tired. She kept trying to go faster when all of a sudden she fell sleep. Sleeping does not bode well when you are holding onto someone’s fingers. She fell, and I kind of caught her before she hit the floor with full force, but she did bang her lip enough for it to hurt her. She woke up because of the pain or surprise, not sure which, and was trying to figure out what happened. I was too. I mean, she literally fell asleep while walking, who does that? My mind wasn’t there for long though, it was more on the how in the world could I let this happen to my little princess! How could I let her get hurt! The pain didn’t last long though, especially since within 30 seconds my mom handed her an ice pop (her first one), my dad handed her a $20 bill, and I handed her my phone (she was like 9 months, and already knew how to use my phone better than me). This of course is one of the more priceless pictures we have.
And for those of you thinking that in both of these stories it was dad’s fault, well, I know, I feel bad ok?! But honestly, she almost never gets hurt. It is probably why these two instances stick out in my and my wife’s mind. Our daughter has a knack for avoiding the bigger falls, and usually doesn’t run into anything. I’m pretty sure she is more aware of what is going on then I am!
That’s the update!
Check in for Tuesday’s adventure!
And for those of you thinking that in both of these stories it was dad’s fault, well, I know, I feel bad ok?! But honestly, she almost never gets hurt. It is probably why these two instances stick out in my and my wife’s mind. Our daughter has a knack for avoiding the bigger falls, and usually doesn’t run into anything. I’m pretty sure she is more aware of what is going on then I am!
That’s the update!
Check in for Tuesday’s adventure!
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Dad And The First Boo Boo
There she was, looking up at me with her big brown eyes. She had a confused look on her face, as if asking, why Daddy why? She gazed at the hard cement flooring on our porch in absolute horror. She just wanted to know how this outdoor wonder land which she loves so much had just reached up, tripped her, and drawn the first blood she had ever seen. I had no answer for her, only an outstretched hand of help. I picked up my little girl, dusted her off, and assessed the damage. It is official. She had gotten her first boo boo.
Now, I’m taking about her first actual boo boo that counts. This one drew some blood. Yes it wasn’t really “bleeding” per se, but it was a scrape. It is the first boo boo that signals my little baby girl is not a baby anymore. She is officially transitioning into becoming a toddler. The baby injuries are not a boo boo. Starting around the three month mark bumps and bruises started coming as she learned to move around. Just like any kid learning to crawl and walk, she has gotten plenty of small bumps and bruises. When she started climbing? Forget it! Her shins constantly had little bumps and bruises. But this day, this day was different. This day the cement part of our porch had reached up and tripped my child. In broad day light, the ground struck my little girl and had drawn blood!
I’m still not exactly sure what happened. Much like most 15 month olds, my daughter is still mastering the art of walking and running. She was banging on our fence one moment, trying to entice the neighbor’s dogs to come out, and the next she was on the ground. I think she was practicing her ninja moves, for when she is a superhero. Anyways, I ran over and scooped her up. I saw the damage had been done, and she just looked at me like what happened. She didn’t cry too much, which is surprising, because I would have cried (somewhere my parent’s have a video of a baseball hitting my finger and I fell to the ground crying. I’m coming out with this before they can try to make fun of me with it again. In fact when I recounted my daughter’s first boo boo to them, they immediately brought up the baseball story. They would). Back to the story though. I quickly went inside and along with mommy, we cleaned up the little scrape. I kept telling her it would be ok, and she would get a band-aid. On the band-aid went, and immediately she wanted it off. I told her it would help her in the long run. Something tells me that didn’t click with my daughter because she kept trying to rip it off.
Now the babying started. I went and got her a juice box, which is a special treat for her. She immediately clapped and cheered. We then sat down to watch THE Elmo DVD. If you don’t know what THE Elmo DVD is, read here. I then went into the bedroom and along with Kaylee we explained to mommy that she needed ice cream. Sadly it was getting late at this point, so she had to settle for some goldfish. She quickly figured out that she had all the power now. Daddy wanted to make her feel better, and she knew it. Anytime she wanted something she would point, and then look down at her knee and go “oh”. Once again I had been out done by 1 year old. So for the rest of the night, I got her whatever she wanted.
I know there will be more boo boos along the way, but I hope to avoid them as much as possible. The few moments of real pain I saw in her eyes is something I never want to see. Oh and if you think a man of my age should use another word than boo boo, too bad. That is the correct medical terminology!
Now, I’m taking about her first actual boo boo that counts. This one drew some blood. Yes it wasn’t really “bleeding” per se, but it was a scrape. It is the first boo boo that signals my little baby girl is not a baby anymore. She is officially transitioning into becoming a toddler. The baby injuries are not a boo boo. Starting around the three month mark bumps and bruises started coming as she learned to move around. Just like any kid learning to crawl and walk, she has gotten plenty of small bumps and bruises. When she started climbing? Forget it! Her shins constantly had little bumps and bruises. But this day, this day was different. This day the cement part of our porch had reached up and tripped my child. In broad day light, the ground struck my little girl and had drawn blood!
I’m still not exactly sure what happened. Much like most 15 month olds, my daughter is still mastering the art of walking and running. She was banging on our fence one moment, trying to entice the neighbor’s dogs to come out, and the next she was on the ground. I think she was practicing her ninja moves, for when she is a superhero. Anyways, I ran over and scooped her up. I saw the damage had been done, and she just looked at me like what happened. She didn’t cry too much, which is surprising, because I would have cried (somewhere my parent’s have a video of a baseball hitting my finger and I fell to the ground crying. I’m coming out with this before they can try to make fun of me with it again. In fact when I recounted my daughter’s first boo boo to them, they immediately brought up the baseball story. They would). Back to the story though. I quickly went inside and along with mommy, we cleaned up the little scrape. I kept telling her it would be ok, and she would get a band-aid. On the band-aid went, and immediately she wanted it off. I told her it would help her in the long run. Something tells me that didn’t click with my daughter because she kept trying to rip it off.
Now the babying started. I went and got her a juice box, which is a special treat for her. She immediately clapped and cheered. We then sat down to watch THE Elmo DVD. If you don’t know what THE Elmo DVD is, read here. I then went into the bedroom and along with Kaylee we explained to mommy that she needed ice cream. Sadly it was getting late at this point, so she had to settle for some goldfish. She quickly figured out that she had all the power now. Daddy wanted to make her feel better, and she knew it. Anytime she wanted something she would point, and then look down at her knee and go “oh”. Once again I had been out done by 1 year old. So for the rest of the night, I got her whatever she wanted.
I know there will be more boo boos along the way, but I hope to avoid them as much as possible. The few moments of real pain I saw in her eyes is something I never want to see. Oh and if you think a man of my age should use another word than boo boo, too bad. That is the correct medical terminology!
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Dad And The First 2 Months
Down the white hallway we went. I had been up and down the elevator what seemed like a thousand times, carrying all the various items that were brought over the course of five days out to the car. This last time down the hallway was different though. This time my wife and our brand new daughter were walking with me. Well sort of. Kristin was in a wheelchair cause that’s how they roll at the hospital. (I hope you got that roll joke. If not go back and read that last sentence, cause I was on a roll with it.) So there we were, being escorted out of the hospital and then left at the curb. For days now, we had been surrounded by nurses and doctors. Honestly, for months we had professional people telling us exactly what was going on with our daughter; how she was developing, what we could expect, how to take care of Kristin while she was carrying this little thing inside of her that “fed” off of her. Seriously, pregnancy is like having an alien inside of you. If you have ever seen those sonograms, especially the early ones, you could definitely make the argument that the kids look like some kind of lizard. But the story of the sonograms are for another day. Back to the curb, where we find ourselves staring at our silver mini suv. The nurse that was escorting us out of the hospital said good bye, waved, then turned around and walked back toward the hospital. I’m pretty sure I heard an evil maniacal laugh and a “good luck, suckers” while she headed back into the hospital, but I can’t be 100% sure. I was too busy trying to figure out how to lock the car seat into the base unit that was already in the car. I’m pretty sure while I was struggling to figure it out, my 5 day old daughter was staring at me thinking, “oh gosh please don’t drop me!”
We were so happy to be out of that hospital after a few complications and a 5 day stay, we forgot to ask for our manual. I’m sure you have heard of it, right? It is the manual with a step by step guide the hospital gives you, and then a nurse will come to your house and make sure everything is good at least once a day. The nurse will guide you until you are ready. They kind of wean you off the help, and leave you with the all knowing manual that can answer any question you have now that you are in charge of the well being of an actual person’s life. Wait, what? That’s right, that’s not how it goes at all! It actually goes something like, alright you guys are done here at the hospital, so we will see you at your one month check up. Good luck!
Luck has nothing to do with surviving those first two months. Life still goes on. Luckily my parents live just five minutes away, and my wife’s parents were able to stay with us for about a week after Kaylee was born. I seriously have no idea how we would have survived without our families’ help. I experienced what true selflessness is. Anyone can say they aren’t selfish, but I now believe that the true test of how you will react under extreme conditions is having a baby.
After years of the world revolving around myself, it was now around this little human. Getting married does force one to learn to be unselfish at times, but still it is all about the two of us. Kristin and I did everything together, and were very rarely apart. If we wanted to go to a midnight release of a movie at the last minute, we went. If we decided to go to Orlando for a weekend, we went. If we wanted to take a nap at four in the afternoon, we did it. Basically, we still could do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. That changed instantly.
In the first two months, there was almost no sleep. The world warped itself into a 2-4 hour cycle. Eat, Poop, Sleep, Repeat. That was the baby’s cycle. Our cycle was feed, change diaper, someone sleep for 30 min, repeat. We entered what seemed like an endless void of sleeplessness. All the while, our normal responsibilities continued. For the first two weeks, you have people coming over, bringing you food, seeing the baby, etc. Then nothing. You get into the cycle of sleeplessness and it seems it will never end. Kind of like the “It’s A Small World” ride at Disney. The world doesn’t stop either. Work still needed to be done. Groceries need to be bought. The dog needs to be feed (We totally forgot we had a dog at times). Kristin did her best to let me sleep as much as possible so I wouldn’t be completely dead at work, and I tried to give Kristin as many breaks as possible. Kristin still wanted to do all the grocery shopping, just so she could get out of the house.
I remember our first date after Kaylee was born. She was around the two month mark, and we brought her over to my parents’ house. Kristin and I went shoe and grocery shopping. That was our date. Sounds fun right? Well to us, being able to just do simple, boring errands was like an all expense paid trip to Disney Land. Each shoe we looked at was like a forbidden look into a magical kingdom. Each grocery we put into the cart was like finding a golden goose, and taking the eggs it laid. Teenagers thought we were crazy, parents understood.
Fourteen months later, and we see our all grown up little girl. She is very independent and walks around the house with a notepad in one hand, and a crayon in the other taking “notes” about all the things she sees around the house. We can’t even remember those first two months at times. Although, when we look back and are able to look at them through rested eyes (Kaylee has basically slept through the night since she was around a month and a half) we miss that fragile little human being who depended on us for everything. We miss how she would just lay on our chest and sleep for an hour or two at a time. We miss cradling our little girl with one arm. Our little baby isn’t a baby anymore. She is about 80% into the “toddler” stage. She gives hugs out of love, which is awesome. Sometimes, Kristin and I miss the embrace out of dependance.
It was tough to survive, but probably the most either of us had grown in our lives. We had to depend on each other, and be willing to give up our individual needs. For all the adventures we already have had, as well as the ones coming, it was all totally worth it!
We were so happy to be out of that hospital after a few complications and a 5 day stay, we forgot to ask for our manual. I’m sure you have heard of it, right? It is the manual with a step by step guide the hospital gives you, and then a nurse will come to your house and make sure everything is good at least once a day. The nurse will guide you until you are ready. They kind of wean you off the help, and leave you with the all knowing manual that can answer any question you have now that you are in charge of the well being of an actual person’s life. Wait, what? That’s right, that’s not how it goes at all! It actually goes something like, alright you guys are done here at the hospital, so we will see you at your one month check up. Good luck!
Luck has nothing to do with surviving those first two months. Life still goes on. Luckily my parents live just five minutes away, and my wife’s parents were able to stay with us for about a week after Kaylee was born. I seriously have no idea how we would have survived without our families’ help. I experienced what true selflessness is. Anyone can say they aren’t selfish, but I now believe that the true test of how you will react under extreme conditions is having a baby.
After years of the world revolving around myself, it was now around this little human. Getting married does force one to learn to be unselfish at times, but still it is all about the two of us. Kristin and I did everything together, and were very rarely apart. If we wanted to go to a midnight release of a movie at the last minute, we went. If we decided to go to Orlando for a weekend, we went. If we wanted to take a nap at four in the afternoon, we did it. Basically, we still could do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. That changed instantly.
In the first two months, there was almost no sleep. The world warped itself into a 2-4 hour cycle. Eat, Poop, Sleep, Repeat. That was the baby’s cycle. Our cycle was feed, change diaper, someone sleep for 30 min, repeat. We entered what seemed like an endless void of sleeplessness. All the while, our normal responsibilities continued. For the first two weeks, you have people coming over, bringing you food, seeing the baby, etc. Then nothing. You get into the cycle of sleeplessness and it seems it will never end. Kind of like the “It’s A Small World” ride at Disney. The world doesn’t stop either. Work still needed to be done. Groceries need to be bought. The dog needs to be feed (We totally forgot we had a dog at times). Kristin did her best to let me sleep as much as possible so I wouldn’t be completely dead at work, and I tried to give Kristin as many breaks as possible. Kristin still wanted to do all the grocery shopping, just so she could get out of the house.
I remember our first date after Kaylee was born. She was around the two month mark, and we brought her over to my parents’ house. Kristin and I went shoe and grocery shopping. That was our date. Sounds fun right? Well to us, being able to just do simple, boring errands was like an all expense paid trip to Disney Land. Each shoe we looked at was like a forbidden look into a magical kingdom. Each grocery we put into the cart was like finding a golden goose, and taking the eggs it laid. Teenagers thought we were crazy, parents understood.
Fourteen months later, and we see our all grown up little girl. She is very independent and walks around the house with a notepad in one hand, and a crayon in the other taking “notes” about all the things she sees around the house. We can’t even remember those first two months at times. Although, when we look back and are able to look at them through rested eyes (Kaylee has basically slept through the night since she was around a month and a half) we miss that fragile little human being who depended on us for everything. We miss how she would just lay on our chest and sleep for an hour or two at a time. We miss cradling our little girl with one arm. Our little baby isn’t a baby anymore. She is about 80% into the “toddler” stage. She gives hugs out of love, which is awesome. Sometimes, Kristin and I miss the embrace out of dependance.
It was tough to survive, but probably the most either of us had grown in our lives. We had to depend on each other, and be willing to give up our individual needs. For all the adventures we already have had, as well as the ones coming, it was all totally worth it!
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Dad And The Timeout
There comes a time in every child’s life when they start doing things that are no longer cute and cuddly. This usually starts when they can move on their own. As soon as they taste the freedom, they must “explore” every inch of every place. All of a sudden you find a cabinet completely emptied onto the kitchen floor, or your TV box completely void of the wires attaching it to the TV, or your child jumping from your couch, swinging from the ceiling fan, and then drop kicking a lamp. Well, that last one would actually be pretty impressive and great practice in case your home was ever broken into. Not sure if I would discourage that one, just give them better targets. Anyways, there comes a point when discipline needs to be introduced. This is not fun, but absolutely necessary. Boundaries are so important for kids!
My wife and I have been working with kids for a long time now. We understand the principle of setting up boundaries and rules with a child. Children actually want these boundaries. Without rules and guidelines, a parent can lose control of a kid pretty quick and the earlier you start establishing these rules the easier time you will have. Our daughter started getting time outs as soon as she could crawl over and rip the DVR out from under the TV, or dump our dog’s food all over the kitchen floor. At the time of her first timeout, she was probably around 10 months old. The timeout only lasted about 20 seconds at the time, but she got the message. Well sort of. At first she screamed the whole time, and kept trying to wiggle her way off the little tiny blue stool we use as the timeout stool. There are a lot of people who may think that it was useless at that age for a timeout, but after a few times she started figuring it out. Kids understand a whole lot more than what most would give them credit for. Our daughter definitely understood, and would start to sit there all on her own for the 20 seconds. She also stopped ripping out the DVR and Alf was allowed to eat once again.
As time went on, our daughter eventually stopped crying and trying to get out of her timeout. The timeout has grown to a full minute now that she is older. This minute though is a practice of self control on us the parents. My wife and I have to do our best not to laugh. She now just talks in her gibberish. I can only imagine what she is saying. Probably things like “You know, timeout really isn’t fun daddy. Can I at least have a ball to play with?” I know it has something to do with a ball, because she sits there smiling and pointing everywhere going “ball, ball, ball, ball.” She also knows how to work me over too. There was a time where she had randomly gone back to flipping our dog’s bowl over again which she hadn’t done in months. So she went right to the timeout stool. I stood there trying to be tough, and she sat there with her eyes half down and half piercing through my soul. She didn’t cry, but jutted out that bottom lip of hers. 15 seconds into the minute timeout she looks straight at me with that lip, reaches up with her arms, and says, “da da?” Of course that timeout was cut short... daddy wanted his hug.
Fast forward a few months, and the timeout has been established. She very rarely even needs to actually go to the timeout stool. Just the threat of the small blue stool is enough. She can now climb on the couch, and loves to stand, run, and then try to jump from the couch to a chair right next to the couch. This of course is almost as dangerous as the swinging from the ceiling fan trying to drop kick home invaders. Well, maybe not that dangerous, but unsafe none the less. The standing on the couch had to be stopped. We did not want her getting hurt. Most of the time just saying, “you want a timeout?” and she shakes her head “no” then sits.
As she is growing, though, the connections are being made that she can get around this not being able to do what she wants. Every few months she goes back to the dog bowl. It stopped for awhile because of the timeouts, and the one time she lifted it not knowing we had just filled the bowl with water. She got an early surprise bath, which she did not enjoy at all! This stopped her for awhile. One day, though, she walked into the kitchen and had that look in her eyes. My wife immediately told her no. She headed toward the bowl with a wry smile any way. My wife once again said no and asked if she wanted a timeout? Kaylee, at her ripe old age of 14 months, sat there for a few seconds, contemplating the punishment and the joy of hearing dog food scattered all over the kitchen floor. After those few seconds, she made a decision. That decision was simple, she flipped the dog bowl over and immediately walked to her timeout stool and sat down, smiling. We had been outsmarted.
To her, the punishment was well worth it.
Luckily, she doesn’t make that choice very often!
My wife and I have been working with kids for a long time now. We understand the principle of setting up boundaries and rules with a child. Children actually want these boundaries. Without rules and guidelines, a parent can lose control of a kid pretty quick and the earlier you start establishing these rules the easier time you will have. Our daughter started getting time outs as soon as she could crawl over and rip the DVR out from under the TV, or dump our dog’s food all over the kitchen floor. At the time of her first timeout, she was probably around 10 months old. The timeout only lasted about 20 seconds at the time, but she got the message. Well sort of. At first she screamed the whole time, and kept trying to wiggle her way off the little tiny blue stool we use as the timeout stool. There are a lot of people who may think that it was useless at that age for a timeout, but after a few times she started figuring it out. Kids understand a whole lot more than what most would give them credit for. Our daughter definitely understood, and would start to sit there all on her own for the 20 seconds. She also stopped ripping out the DVR and Alf was allowed to eat once again.
As time went on, our daughter eventually stopped crying and trying to get out of her timeout. The timeout has grown to a full minute now that she is older. This minute though is a practice of self control on us the parents. My wife and I have to do our best not to laugh. She now just talks in her gibberish. I can only imagine what she is saying. Probably things like “You know, timeout really isn’t fun daddy. Can I at least have a ball to play with?” I know it has something to do with a ball, because she sits there smiling and pointing everywhere going “ball, ball, ball, ball.” She also knows how to work me over too. There was a time where she had randomly gone back to flipping our dog’s bowl over again which she hadn’t done in months. So she went right to the timeout stool. I stood there trying to be tough, and she sat there with her eyes half down and half piercing through my soul. She didn’t cry, but jutted out that bottom lip of hers. 15 seconds into the minute timeout she looks straight at me with that lip, reaches up with her arms, and says, “da da?” Of course that timeout was cut short... daddy wanted his hug.
Fast forward a few months, and the timeout has been established. She very rarely even needs to actually go to the timeout stool. Just the threat of the small blue stool is enough. She can now climb on the couch, and loves to stand, run, and then try to jump from the couch to a chair right next to the couch. This of course is almost as dangerous as the swinging from the ceiling fan trying to drop kick home invaders. Well, maybe not that dangerous, but unsafe none the less. The standing on the couch had to be stopped. We did not want her getting hurt. Most of the time just saying, “you want a timeout?” and she shakes her head “no” then sits.
As she is growing, though, the connections are being made that she can get around this not being able to do what she wants. Every few months she goes back to the dog bowl. It stopped for awhile because of the timeouts, and the one time she lifted it not knowing we had just filled the bowl with water. She got an early surprise bath, which she did not enjoy at all! This stopped her for awhile. One day, though, she walked into the kitchen and had that look in her eyes. My wife immediately told her no. She headed toward the bowl with a wry smile any way. My wife once again said no and asked if she wanted a timeout? Kaylee, at her ripe old age of 14 months, sat there for a few seconds, contemplating the punishment and the joy of hearing dog food scattered all over the kitchen floor. After those few seconds, she made a decision. That decision was simple, she flipped the dog bowl over and immediately walked to her timeout stool and sat down, smiling. We had been outsmarted.
To her, the punishment was well worth it.
Luckily, she doesn’t make that choice very often!
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