Dad And Naptime

Fear is something living inside everyone. You may be afraid of something simple like the dark or something crazy like a green polka dot elephant. Some may be afraid of being alone, or standing on a tall building. There are fears of spiders, ants, buffalos, and armadillos. Some people say they aren’t afraid of anything. Well those people are afraid of admitting that something makes them hesitate. Nothing in life is certain, but one thing you can count on is fear will impact your life at one point. It is just a fact of life. For kids, one of the earliest fears they have is abandonment. It is why they cry when being dropped off at school, or run away from nursery workers at church. They are afraid they are going to be there forever. That fear can come and go, and is brought on by a variety of events.

For Kaylee, she started randomly experiencing this fear around nap time just around the fifteen month mark. My wife and I tried to figure it out, and we are guessing this was brought on by the week before. That week, Kaylee had fallen asleep a few times at my parent’s house just before Kristin and I had run some errands and a second time we had gone out for our anniversary. She did not really show any signs of worry. In fact, when she is with her grandparents she outwardly appears like she could care less if we are there. With good reason too, at my parents’ house she has all sorts of treats she normally doesn’t have like ice cream and cookies. So it was strange that this particular week she was glued to Kristin and myself. She did not want to take a nap. This is somewhat normal for a kid her age, but the way she went about protesting about it was different.

Every time Kristin had her a sleep, or so she thought, and tried to put her in her crib, Kaylee would jump up and start crying. She sensed the mattress or something, and would not let herself go into a deep sleep. Finally, after almost an hour I went into the room to give Kristin a break. I sat down in the rocking chair with Kaylee and got her sleeping. So I slowly stood up, determined to get her into that crib. You see, I have a full proof maneuver to get her into the crib that I use every time she falls asleep in the car and I transfer her from the car to the house. The maneuver is simple. I rock her all the way down, like a pendulum, until her little head and back are touching the mattress. It works 100% of the time. I’m awesome at this dad stuff. Well, I was at least. This day the pendulum maneuver (I am currently getting that move trademarked) failed. As soon as I pulled her away from my chest, her arm shot out and latched onto my armpit like a monkey who just dropped his banana. Her eyes opened for a full two seconds and shot a gaze into my very soul as if to say, “DON’T YOU DARE EVEN THINK ABOUT LEAVING ME IN THIS ROOM BY MYSELF, THIS IS YOUR FIRST WARNING!” I got a little scared. So I rocked her a little while longer and watched the clock. I would give her a full three minutes from the time her breathing went into that heavy sleep breathing that babies do and then once again try “The Pendulum Maneuver” (its officially mine, don’t even think about stealing it). Once again the arm grip of death latched onto the backside of my armpit and her eyes pierced the innards of my soul shouting, “THIS IS YOUR SECOND WARNING FATHER!” That was it. The Pendulum Maneuver had failed, and all hope was lost. Any alone time for Mommy and Daddy were gone now. No, I couldn’t’ give up and surrender to this baby. I would defeat her! I just had to make an adjustment to The Pendulum Maneuver. The part that was waking her up was the separating her from my chest, so I simply didn’t do that! I held her tight, and slowly crawled into the crib with her. Then i slowly laid her onto the mattress, rocking her the whole time. She did wake up for a second, but saw me there in the crib with her and went right back to sleep. Aha! Who outsmarted who now!

Well, I guess, she still is winning at this point since I find myself in this crib, on my side facing her, with her right hand under my neck, while she is asleep staring at the ceiling. I was determined to prevail. She would take a nap, and know that Mommy and Daddy were in the living room right outside her door. So I slowly started to get out of the crib, when the scariest thing in the world happened. She sensed the movement on the mattress and her eyes flung open. I tried to lay back down, but it was to late. In one motion she turned on her side and her left hand grappled me around the neck while her right hand, that was already under my neck, latched on completely. She now had me in a headlock, and stared at me with her eyes wide open and communicated to me, “THIS IS YOUR THIRD AND FINAL WARNING FATHER!” She then closed her eyes and went back to sleep. At this point, I was ready to give up. I could just take a nap with her, I was getting tired after this whole ordeal anyway. I was pretty much scared to death as to what would happen after this third and final warning. Could I really just give up though? Of course not! I had gotten this far. I realized what was setting off her highly sensitive motion detectors was the movement of the crib mattress. At this realization, I slowly just grabbed the four sides of the crib and pulled myself straight up and out, instead of rolling to the end of the mattress. I bet I looked like a ninja. A really cool ninja.

This worked! I left her room quickly and quietly, some would say ninja-like, with my arms raised. Kristin and I would get some quiet time after all. We were so excited! I told Kristin of my adventure, and of my relief that I did not find out what happened after my third and final warning.

It was then time to enjoy our quiet time... all 27 minutes of it.

At least I got a good story and Kaylee dropped the whole super attached thing after this. Technically, it happened again the next day while I was at work, when I received a call from Kristin. She had said she finally got her to fall asleep for a nap, but she had to get in the crib with her! I immediately exclaimed, “what have we started?!” Luckily, Kaylee was back to her normal self the next day. :)

If you have a great nap time story, or any other improvements on “The Pendulum Maneuver” (movie rights pending) leave it in the comments!