There comes a time in every child’s life when they start doing things that are no longer cute and cuddly. This usually starts when they can move on their own. As soon as they taste the freedom, they must “explore” every inch of every place. All of a sudden you find a cabinet completely emptied onto the kitchen floor, or your TV box completely void of the wires attaching it to the TV, or your child jumping from your couch, swinging from the ceiling fan, and then drop kicking a lamp. Well, that last one would actually be pretty impressive and great practice in case your home was ever broken into. Not sure if I would discourage that one, just give them better targets. Anyways, there comes a point when discipline needs to be introduced. This is not fun, but absolutely necessary. Boundaries are so important for kids!
My wife and I have been working with kids for a long time now. We understand the principle of setting up boundaries and rules with a child. Children actually want these boundaries. Without rules and guidelines, a parent can lose control of a kid pretty quick and the earlier you start establishing these rules the easier time you will have. Our daughter started getting time outs as soon as she could crawl over and rip the DVR out from under the TV, or dump our dog’s food all over the kitchen floor. At the time of her first timeout, she was probably around 10 months old. The timeout only lasted about 20 seconds at the time, but she got the message. Well sort of. At first she screamed the whole time, and kept trying to wiggle her way off the little tiny blue stool we use as the timeout stool. There are a lot of people who may think that it was useless at that age for a timeout, but after a few times she started figuring it out. Kids understand a whole lot more than what most would give them credit for. Our daughter definitely understood, and would start to sit there all on her own for the 20 seconds. She also stopped ripping out the DVR and Alf was allowed to eat once again.
As time went on, our daughter eventually stopped crying and trying to get out of her timeout. The timeout has grown to a full minute now that she is older. This minute though is a practice of self control on us the parents. My wife and I have to do our best not to laugh. She now just talks in her gibberish. I can only imagine what she is saying. Probably things like “You know, timeout really isn’t fun daddy. Can I at least have a ball to play with?” I know it has something to do with a ball, because she sits there smiling and pointing everywhere going “ball, ball, ball, ball.” She also knows how to work me over too. There was a time where she had randomly gone back to flipping our dog’s bowl over again which she hadn’t done in months. So she went right to the timeout stool. I stood there trying to be tough, and she sat there with her eyes half down and half piercing through my soul. She didn’t cry, but jutted out that bottom lip of hers. 15 seconds into the minute timeout she looks straight at me with that lip, reaches up with her arms, and says, “da da?” Of course that timeout was cut short... daddy wanted his hug.
Fast forward a few months, and the timeout has been established. She very rarely even needs to actually go to the timeout stool. Just the threat of the small blue stool is enough. She can now climb on the couch, and loves to stand, run, and then try to jump from the couch to a chair right next to the couch. This of course is almost as dangerous as the swinging from the ceiling fan trying to drop kick home invaders. Well, maybe not that dangerous, but unsafe none the less. The standing on the couch had to be stopped. We did not want her getting hurt. Most of the time just saying, “you want a timeout?” and she shakes her head “no” then sits.
As she is growing, though, the connections are being made that she can get around this not being able to do what she wants. Every few months she goes back to the dog bowl. It stopped for awhile because of the timeouts, and the one time she lifted it not knowing we had just filled the bowl with water. She got an early surprise bath, which she did not enjoy at all! This stopped her for awhile. One day, though, she walked into the kitchen and had that look in her eyes. My wife immediately told her no. She headed toward the bowl with a wry smile any way. My wife once again said no and asked if she wanted a timeout? Kaylee, at her ripe old age of 14 months, sat there for a few seconds, contemplating the punishment and the joy of hearing dog food scattered all over the kitchen floor. After those few seconds, she made a decision. That decision was simple, she flipped the dog bowl over and immediately walked to her timeout stool and sat down, smiling. We had been outsmarted.
To her, the punishment was well worth it.
Luckily, she doesn’t make that choice very often!
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