Down the white hallway we went. I had been up and down the elevator what seemed like a thousand times, carrying all the various items that were brought over the course of five days out to the car. This last time down the hallway was different though. This time my wife and our brand new daughter were walking with me. Well sort of. Kristin was in a wheelchair cause that’s how they roll at the hospital. (I hope you got that roll joke. If not go back and read that last sentence, cause I was on a roll with it.) So there we were, being escorted out of the hospital and then left at the curb. For days now, we had been surrounded by nurses and doctors. Honestly, for months we had professional people telling us exactly what was going on with our daughter; how she was developing, what we could expect, how to take care of Kristin while she was carrying this little thing inside of her that “fed” off of her. Seriously, pregnancy is like having an alien inside of you. If you have ever seen those sonograms, especially the early ones, you could definitely make the argument that the kids look like some kind of lizard. But the story of the sonograms are for another day. Back to the curb, where we find ourselves staring at our silver mini suv. The nurse that was escorting us out of the hospital said good bye, waved, then turned around and walked back toward the hospital. I’m pretty sure I heard an evil maniacal laugh and a “good luck, suckers” while she headed back into the hospital, but I can’t be 100% sure. I was too busy trying to figure out how to lock the car seat into the base unit that was already in the car. I’m pretty sure while I was struggling to figure it out, my 5 day old daughter was staring at me thinking, “oh gosh please don’t drop me!”
We were so happy to be out of that hospital after a few complications and a 5 day stay, we forgot to ask for our manual. I’m sure you have heard of it, right? It is the manual with a step by step guide the hospital gives you, and then a nurse will come to your house and make sure everything is good at least once a day. The nurse will guide you until you are ready. They kind of wean you off the help, and leave you with the all knowing manual that can answer any question you have now that you are in charge of the well being of an actual person’s life. Wait, what? That’s right, that’s not how it goes at all! It actually goes something like, alright you guys are done here at the hospital, so we will see you at your one month check up. Good luck!
Luck has nothing to do with surviving those first two months. Life still goes on. Luckily my parents live just five minutes away, and my wife’s parents were able to stay with us for about a week after Kaylee was born. I seriously have no idea how we would have survived without our families’ help. I experienced what true selflessness is. Anyone can say they aren’t selfish, but I now believe that the true test of how you will react under extreme conditions is having a baby.
After years of the world revolving around myself, it was now around this little human. Getting married does force one to learn to be unselfish at times, but still it is all about the two of us. Kristin and I did everything together, and were very rarely apart. If we wanted to go to a midnight release of a movie at the last minute, we went. If we decided to go to Orlando for a weekend, we went. If we wanted to take a nap at four in the afternoon, we did it. Basically, we still could do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. That changed instantly.
In the first two months, there was almost no sleep. The world warped itself into a 2-4 hour cycle. Eat, Poop, Sleep, Repeat. That was the baby’s cycle. Our cycle was feed, change diaper, someone sleep for 30 min, repeat. We entered what seemed like an endless void of sleeplessness. All the while, our normal responsibilities continued. For the first two weeks, you have people coming over, bringing you food, seeing the baby, etc. Then nothing. You get into the cycle of sleeplessness and it seems it will never end. Kind of like the “It’s A Small World” ride at Disney. The world doesn’t stop either. Work still needed to be done. Groceries need to be bought. The dog needs to be feed (We totally forgot we had a dog at times). Kristin did her best to let me sleep as much as possible so I wouldn’t be completely dead at work, and I tried to give Kristin as many breaks as possible. Kristin still wanted to do all the grocery shopping, just so she could get out of the house.
I remember our first date after Kaylee was born. She was around the two month mark, and we brought her over to my parents’ house. Kristin and I went shoe and grocery shopping. That was our date. Sounds fun right? Well to us, being able to just do simple, boring errands was like an all expense paid trip to Disney Land. Each shoe we looked at was like a forbidden look into a magical kingdom. Each grocery we put into the cart was like finding a golden goose, and taking the eggs it laid. Teenagers thought we were crazy, parents understood.
Fourteen months later, and we see our all grown up little girl. She is very independent and walks around the house with a notepad in one hand, and a crayon in the other taking “notes” about all the things she sees around the house. We can’t even remember those first two months at times. Although, when we look back and are able to look at them through rested eyes (Kaylee has basically slept through the night since she was around a month and a half) we miss that fragile little human being who depended on us for everything. We miss how she would just lay on our chest and sleep for an hour or two at a time. We miss cradling our little girl with one arm. Our little baby isn’t a baby anymore. She is about 80% into the “toddler” stage. She gives hugs out of love, which is awesome. Sometimes, Kristin and I miss the embrace out of dependance.
It was tough to survive, but probably the most either of us had grown in our lives. We had to depend on each other, and be willing to give up our individual needs. For all the adventures we already have had, as well as the ones coming, it was all totally worth it!
love this
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